End of the First Week in Melbs

** I wrote this a while ago just never had any decent WiFi or time to get it up!!! **

The fun and entertaining stories haven’t been coming thick and fast at the moment. Basically we are being very boring and mooching through the day and getting our heads down on the night.

After our first few days once we had a bank account, medicare and a tax file number set up we started searching for jobs. After the first day Kayleigh was booked in for 2 interviews with recruitment companies and I heard nothing back πŸ˜‚ So she headed off that day for 2 job interviews and I just sat in Victoria state library applying for jobs willy nilly. At the minute I am not too concerned I have applied for about 20 in 3 days so that’s enough for me. And I have avoided all the telesales shit. That is for when I get desperate πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. They have loads of jobs which seem easy to get ringing people for charities and pestering them to donate. I wouldn’t really like to do that.

Just because it’s dog shit phoning people all day. Although after some thought I actually believe I would enjoy the crack winding people up all day cold calling πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ then when they get snappy just winding them up even more. The more I think about it it’s right up my street and the fork out 28 dollars an hour πŸ˜‚.

Can you imagine it??

ME: “Excuse me sir sorry to bother you this afternoon but could you donate 4 pound a week to poor starving kids in war strickened nations”.

Them: “No very sorry I have just lost my job and I am unable to spare anything at the moment”.

ME: “Are you sure? Not even 2 bucks a month, I bet you are at home now with a nice pleasant roof above your head, wonderful running fresh water straight from the tap? Just imagine it was your friends and family in that situation.”

I could entertain myself for hours on end. But would probably get bored after a few weeks but at least I would have made off with a few thousand dollars πŸ˜‚. I do the same thing now for my own entertainment whenever Vodafone ring me just the opposite way round….

“Please tell me more about the tablet computer available one the 24 month contract, I have recently been looking at such an investment.”

Yeah wasted half an hour there ya divvy I’ve already got one and just use it on WiFi because I’m not a mong.

The hours are shit though so I think I will wait another week or 2 before I consider that.

The next day we headed off to St Kilda which is a little beach district. Basically Melbourne equivalent of Redcar. Except instead of chewy seagulls pestering at your chips this place has Penguins. I shit you not Penguins 🐧. People reckon it’s boiling in Melbs but it’s actually one of the closest cities on the planet to the Antarctic.

Unfortunately I couldn’t really get a picture because my phone camera is shit in the dark and you can’t use flash as it winds them up but I done my best. We all had to part on the side whilst a penguin 🐧 on one side of the rocks mooched across the rocks to another side because that’s were he lived. They go off the rocks all day fishing from dawn and only come back at dusk there is about 1400 of them in the colony that live there apparently and the rocks are man made from the Olympics in Melbourne years ago. It’s one of very few man made structures that are the penguins natural habitat. I am considering becoming a volunteer who make people part on the path. Once we get jobs we are planning on living in St Kilda because it is cheaper and still close with seaside, it also has a little street that looks bouncing.

Our last night staying in the ibis before we head to United Backpackers (a hostel in which we have to share a room with 2 other people 😐 for the first time ever πŸ˜‚ should be fun).

We decided to head off to a comedy night and have our first night on the lash in Melbourne. So first thing was first off to the shop for a bottle of wine. 10 bucks for some shit like that flavoured berries echo falls at home. We were half cut before we left the room.

First thing was first get to the pub on happy hour πŸ˜‚ genuinely until we have jobs deals and happy hours are going to be routinely scouted out and identified. It’s not like being in the Dev on a Friday night not arsed if you have 10 or 20 pints it doesn’t matter because you have a job and they are only cheap, and ya might even end up in the queue at flares and refused entry. I can do what I want at home on a weekend because I am a man of full time employment with no ties. First thing was first get a picture on Facebook and rub it in to the masses on facebook, all just turning up to work putting a shift in. Not me I was in the pub as its 5pm when it’s 9am back home.

Unlucky everyone a full year of me boasting about that. The biggest bonus is I won’t miss out on what my mates at home are doing because il already be asleep in a pub somewhere in Melbourne and they will just be on their dinner.

Anyway we headed off to the comedy show but forgot to eat as we got to the comedy pub we ordered a pint for 12 dollars 😐 nearly 7 quid πŸ˜‚. Well that really pissed on my bonfire. Big first night in Melbourne spent checking menu prices and asking if they do tap water πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

FFS best get a job ASAP. Following on from those revelations we just got a tray of chips to share for tea πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ As ya would!! 🀣

Now for the comedy night. To be fair it was only like Β£7 each in and you would usually expect to pay more at home so when ya work out ticket v price situations. We could get about 1 pint πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I hope no-one from them charity collection companies ring me, imagine the sob story 🀣.

I’ve noticed when nothing major is actually happening when I’m out and about my thought patterns really are enough to deliver a high quality blog. If your reading this now I bet it’s my voice in your head?!? Stay tuned for the audio book only 15 dollars πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Even if I only sell 2 it’s 2 pints and a tray of chips!! The stuff dreams are made of. Keep an eye out and please buy the audio book 🀣🀣.

After being ripped for an 12 dollar pint we I managed to find cans of Melbourne bitter for between 5 and 7 bucks. They are only 375mls but when in Rome.

Anyway into the comedy great crack the MC was bald on the front of his head just like Ash. Lovely stuff. Anyway yeah onto the comedians even though it was in Australia and I had some apprehensions about their crack it was jolly good fun.

As we were walking home we seen a door way with bouncers and Sean paul blasting, 🀣. So we said how much is it in they said free for the next 6 minutes. It was at that point I elbowed the bouncers out the way and cambered in. Once inside we said any deals??? The barmaid was baffled just another Australian who doesn’t understand English. 6 bucks a Corona so get up 2 of them love. She seemed to gather what I meant.

Once we got in and found our way upstairs it was great choker block with people on a rooftop surrounded by skyscrapers. Nice cheeky Coronas Minding our own business. I took a cheeky sky scraper selfie. Kayleighs cheeks looked full πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ I said do you need to go to the toilet🀣🀣 off she went for a whitey.

I went to the toilet at one point and a woman was stood at the urinal. Well I say woman a bloke with hair half way down his back. An easy mistake. Apparently in some cultures that is cool, but where I am from your either short back and sides or baldy or you are a gimp with a quiff (me) πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ and that’s that.

Anyway ended up a big essay this just most of it documenting my thoughts. Which is why you tune in. Comedy gold. Thanks!!

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