Ubud and the Little Bastard Monkeys!!!


The following day it was off to Ubud and I think that joke I played on Kayleigh come back to haunt us. 6:45am we were rudely awaken by loads of banging. An earthquake measuring 5.0 on the rictor scale had hit South Bali literally looked felt the floor shirt and the windows on the balcony banging and clanging Kayleigh was off and I was frantically trying to get some clothes on πŸ˜‚. We have absolutely zero idea how strong or resistant out building is supposed to be. We didn’t get to sleep until about 2am a good 4 hour sleep done us the world of good πŸ˜‚.

9 more days of survival before heading to Oz. It actually is unheard of apparently for this many earthquakes to be hitting in close succession and 2 major ones in 2 weeks. This one wasn’t major but it was just closer to us than all of the others have been. I’ve said it before and I will say it again, it will take more than a natural disaster to stop me.

Anyway after treating ourselves to breakfast ( a pack of coco crunch from a circle K). We got packed… Again… I fucking hate packing. Then headed off to Ubud in a taxi.

Upon arrival in Ubud we sorted out stuff in the room and went for dinner as we were absolutely clamming. Then we found a nice little restaurant called Ubud Gluten Free Kitchen . Yes we can both eat gluten so it served absolutely no purpose going there but Kayleigh is into all that and it had an array of vegetarian options so I duly obliged. I ordered myself the shop specialty which is a double chicken schnitzel or as I like to call it a double schnitty.

Kayleigh ordered a tofu vegetable schnitzel. 2 minutes later the waiter said very sorry all out of tofu schnitty. She said give me 2 minutes…. And went on to order the vegetarian lasagne. 10 minutes later the waiter returned and repeated his initial stance “very sorry ran out of vegetable lasagne πŸ˜‚”. At this stage I said away we will just go. She said nor let’s just stay πŸ˜‚.

Anyway she ordered some potato noodle dish. It came out and it was massive. She went on to find a hair after about 3 bites πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. Full meal abandoned. But don’t just listen to me. Oh no.

But I know people think I just say things to wind Kayleigh up but no. It is all true. Check out her version of events in her own words on her very own trip advisor review right here πŸ˜‚ … https://www.tripadvisor.com/ShowUserReviews-g297701-d13306450-r609427701-Ubud_Gluten_Free_Kitchen_Cafe_Restaurant-Ubud_Bali.html#review609427701

Very articulate if she keeps up I might let her put a guest blog post on. These are hard work.

So after a disappointing start to our day in Ubud we relaxed round the hotel and headed off out. We explored most of the main night sports before settling on some food in a Restaurant called the Laughing Buddha. It was lovely stuff. Anyway I had a large bintang and ordered another (Bintang weren’t on happy hour only cocktails). So at about 25 to 8 I ordered a second Bintang. I said: “babe I might get a few cheeky cocktails on happy hour after this” before the end of happy hour at 8pm. She said “at”20 to 8 why you won’t drink that.”

I have never been so shocked offended and appalled in equal measure. I was on the verge of booking a flight home. But I seen the Bintang clean off with 5 minutes to spare and enjoyed the 2 cocktails by this point I had calmed down. But she must know me very well at all after almost 10 years thinking I couldn’t see a big bottle of sharpish.

We spent most of the night discussing the Mount Batur trek😐. More on that one later.

We then headed off to the Shisha Lounge and had a cheeky Shisha before going to this Spanish night for a cheeky boogie. I waited at the bar for 15 to 20 minutes and didn’t get served so we went home in a mood.


The next day after a spot of breakfast on the balcony we decided to visit Monkey Forrest. After making the decision we spent a good 2 hours in bed researching Monkey Forrest and what to do if we get a bite. Kayleigh is petrified of animals of we walk down the street and there is a dog clearly Minding it’s own business she will panic and cross the road to get away from it. She is the only vegetarian I know who actually hates animals πŸ˜‚ dogs, cats, monkeys the lot πŸ˜‚ she can’t stand them all and is petrified.

Now with the risks of rabies and that we did actually need to be careful. From what we read the monkeys did sound like proper chewy little bastards πŸ˜‚ So I made sure I wore a long sleeved top so I would be at least a little bit protected from the little fuckers if they jumped on me.

After visiting the forrest I can confirm they are chewy little bastards, honestly in just a few hours there I can confirm some people are thick as fuck, letting the monkeys jump on them, and even trying to pick them up πŸ˜‚ proper thick need to catch rabies. Honestly that’s natural selection at work that. Darwinian theory at its finest. That reference might be abit too high brow for most of my readers. But for those who get it, well done you are in the top percentage 🀣
Too many fucking idiots about 🀣

Without the mongs running about purposefully trying to contract some type of primate diseases. The monkeys actually are chewy little fuckers🀣. In just a few hours there we seen a monkey nick someone’s bottle of water. One climbing a tree with someone’s can of Pepsi. One jump out of a tree into some poor lasses hair from nowhereπŸ˜‚. At one point the full troop when doolally, not one or 2 doing something daft I am talking 60 to 100 of the crazy little monkeys going bonkers hissing at everyone and legging it up trees to fight some other Monkeys. Apparently there is like 7 different tribes that live in the forrest and it all goes haywire when they step on each other’s territory.

And finally before we left one started a fight with a dog right at the exit and ended up smashing a caution wet floor sign clean off the dogs face πŸ˜‚

OR yeah and just abit extra some fucking daft dad thought it was a bright idea to let his 2 year old baby wander about freely right near the Monkeys. That’s the type of idiot we are dealing with.

God knows why there was that sign there either there holes all over the floor not a sign in sight I am actually worried I’m gna be walking back smashed one night and fall down one they are all about a meter deep. No shit look it’s like this every 14 yards for the full road…

After a quick scrub and out we treat ourselves to a cheeky Penang.

After this we smashed a bar called LOL and seen Breffni Thomas’s (well not her but as 40 odd year old woman who looked like Breff who will still be travelling in 15 years)🀣. She is off her nut.

We had another few drinks at another bar then came home. I’m Sat in bed now at 2am putting this together because the next 2 days are too busy.

We are up at half 7 tomorrow to go see some rice fields and a temple. Another one of Kayleighs bright ideas. We are up in 4 and a half hours time for this. Fingers crossed there will be another earthquake to get her out of bed 🀣🀣

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